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Shattering Limitations: 6 Steps to Taking Control of Your Life Story

Life is like a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, twists, and turns. But here's the thing: You're not just a passive passenger on this ride; you're the driver of your own life. It's time to stop letting life just happen to you and start taking control of your own story.

When I first launched Black Guns Matter, I faced skepticism from people who warned me against conducting our gun safety and Second Amendment workshops in anti-gun cities, let alone while openly carrying a firearm. They thought it would be risky, especially in places with strict and potentially unconstitutional gun laws.

Our first scheduled city was Baltimore, Maryland, known for its strict anti-gun stance. The person I initially chose to travel with me and help teach the course backed out at the last minute. He wasn't comfortable traveling to certain areas with the organization and couldn't see how my vision would work nationwide.

But instead of letting that setback stop us, I adapted our approach. I started collaborating with local instructors in the cities we visited. I focused on outreach, promotion, and marketing to get people to attend the workshops. Once they arrived, I would connect them with a local instructor to continue their learning journey.

This new setup turned out to be even better. It allowed me to build relationships with local instructors and ensure that attendees had ongoing support, whether I was in town or not.

This change was a game-changer for Black Guns Matter. It transformed us from just another gun organization into a movement. Our efforts have significantly impacted urban Americans, particularly black women, making them the largest new gun-buying demographic for years now. Our work has been recognized and featured in publications such as Recoil Magazine and the New York Times, and we were even cited in the historic Supreme Court decision, NYSRPA v. Bruen.

So, what's the moral of the story? When you have a clear vision, intense passion, and the right tools and determination, don't let the naysayers hold you back. Roll up your sleeves and do the work.

Here are a few lessons I'd like to share with you to go from letting life happen to you to taking control of your own story:

Stop Being a Bystander in Your Own Life

Too often, we find ourselves reacting to the circumstances and events that come our way, letting life dictate our path. We become passive bystanders, watching our dreams, goals, and aspirations slip through our fingers because we are too afraid, too complacent, or too comfortable to take action. But here's the harsh truth: no one is coming to save you, and nothing is going to change unless you make it happen.

Embrace the Power of Choice

You have the power to choose your actions, your reactions, and ultimately, your destiny. It's time to take ownership of your life and start making choices that align with your values, passions, and goals. Stop making excuses, blaming others, or waiting for the "perfect" moment to take action. The perfect moment is now.

Break Free from Limiting Beliefs

We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back from realizing our full potential. Whether it's the fear of failure, the fear of judgment, or the fear of stepping out of our comfort zone, these beliefs create self-imposed barriers that prevent us from taking control of our own story or even seeing opportunities where others may not. It's time to challenge these beliefs, break free from your comfort zone, and embrace the unknown.

Take Action and Be Proactive

Taking control of your own story requires action, determination, and perseverance. Stop waiting for opportunities to come knocking on your door and start creating your own opportunities. Whether it's pursuing a new career path, starting a new business, embarking on a new adventure, or even doing what others see as impossible; take the initiative and be proactive in shaping your own destiny.

Own Your Mistakes and Learn from Them

No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. But instead of letting your mistakes define you or hold you back, own them, learn from them, and use them as stepping stones to grow and evolve. Embrace failure as a valuable learning experience and a necessary part of your journey towards success.

Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

Your environment plays a significant role in shaping your mindset, beliefs, and attitudes. Surround yourself with positive, supportive, and like-minded individuals who inspire you, motivate you, and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Cut ties with negative influences and energy-draining situations that hinder your growth and prevent you from taking control of your own story.


Taking control of your own story is not about waiting for life to unfold or having everything all figured out; it's about taking the reins, making intentional choices, and steering your life in the direction you want it to go. Stop letting life just happen 'to you' and start making life happen 'for you'. You have the power to write your own story, so take control, be proactive, and create a life that you are proud to live. If you want to unleash your full potential, you need to embrace the unknown and start living life on your own terms. Take the first step and start writing your own story, one intentional choice at a time.


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